How to harness your anger to transform your life

How to harness yur anger to transform your lifeHow to harness your anger to transform your lifeAnger gets a bad rap, especially if its expressed by women,studies show, but like all emotions it has a vital distributionspolitik and purpose in our lives. Two new books, Rebecca TraistersGood and Mad The Revolutionary Power of Womens Angerand Soraya ChemalysRage Becomes Her The Power of Womens Anger,focus on the transformative possibilities of anger. Traister, whos written two books on women and politics, looks at the way anger has been harnessed togalvanize social movementsfrom Black Lives Matter to MeToo. Chemaly, a writer and activist who writes on gender, examines the way women are socialized from early childhood through every stage of their developments to suppress anger - and how that negatively affects their health.Both books come at a pivotal time in our lands history, whenmillions of women across the country are grappling with how to inhabit this charged emotionwithout letting i t overrun their lives. Chemaly and psychologist Deborah Rozman, Ph.D., the CEO ofHeartMathand co-author ofTransforming Anger The Heartmath Solution for Letting Go of Rage, Frustration, and Irritation, offered these effective tips on how to make your anger work for youAcknowledge and name itChemaly says a lot of women cant actually vocalize the words I am angry. Instead, they say things like Im stressed or Im tired because, she explains, Were socialized to minimize our anger and put others at ease. Anger-denialists, though, are wreaking havoc on their own mental well-being. Chemaly encourages women to name their feeling, a practice calledaffect labeling,which helps disrupt patterns of rumination that make us sad and depressed. Dr. Rozman agrees, emphasizing the importance of withholding negative judgements on your anger Its not an issue of good or bad. Dont enter a war with it. Instead, neutrally recognize Heres the feeling. Now what do I do with it?Get centered and think of the bigg er pictureOnce you reconcile with the fact that youre angry, try breathing your way to tranquility. Bring it back to your heart with a technique we call quick coherence, Rozman says. The practice involves a series of deep breaths that focus on inhaling and exhaling from the center of your heart, while finding a place in your mind that brings you calm - maybe its your pet, or child, or memories of a favorite vacation spot. When anger furiously courses through your veins, the stress hormone cortisol surges, which puts your body into survival mode, a fight, flight or freeze zone that impairs your ability to think clearly and with perspective. Intentional breathing lassoed to a soothing thought will enable you to access a bigger picture, so you can respond in a productive way, says Rozman.Identify why youre angryNow that youve entered a state of calm, start asking yourself critical questions to figure out why youre angry. Did someone mistreat or disrespect you? Were you treated unfairl y? Did you witness something that rattled your sense of justice? Make sure youre not weaponizing your anger against yourself. Eighteenth-century English poet Alexander Pope once wrote To be angry is to revenge the faults of others on ourselves. Dig deep to make sure your perceived wrong, filtered through your history of experience, isnt a potential misperception triggered by an old, lingering wound. Feminist historian Joan Wallach Scott wrote an essay called The Evidence of Experience, about the dangers of filtering every experience in your life through your own personal history without a critical self-interrogation. For example, if I get angry over a perceived slight that I think is because Im gay, rather than considering other possible reasons for the slight, Ill stay in a repetitive narrative thats painful to me. To avoid that, go full-blown archeologist and excavate the deepest origins of your anger. Then youll be prepared to figure out what to do about it.Turn your anger into m eaningful changeHold people accountable, says Chemaly, whether its interpersonally, professionally or politically. As Traister documents, millions of women the world over have done just that, collectively harnessing their fury to affect positive social change - from Pantsuit Nationto the Womens March. Outside the realm of mass social movements, addressing your anger in a fruitful way may feel more challenging, but it is still possible. In a professional setting, Chemaly notes that it can be tough to navigate injustice head-on because women who express anger arent perceived the same way that men are. In fact,studies indicate they are perceived poorly. When a man expresses anger - is pugnacious, contemptuous and indignant Chemaly says - it confirms our ideas about masculinity. When a woman does, its transgressive, so in order to be heard we really learn to perform femininity. In the meantime, she advises women to seek allies who will advocate for them, and find or create networks o r communities at work with like-minded people to work toward collective action. Metrics showthat better organized, more successful organizations are those in which employees feel connected and empowered, Chemaly says, adding, When you can posit that your anger is a form of information, it is important and valuable and can help you.Always remember, adds Rozman, anger is meant to be a warning sign. Its an alert. And its ultimately meant for us to do something productive with it.This article first appeared on Thrive Global.